Where were you, when lovers used to write love letters with dictionaries? If you never received letters like these, you know nothing about LOVE…
When Lovers Wrote Letters With Dictionaries
Love letters for her…
Time and ability plus double capacity has forced my pen to dance automatically on this benedicted sheet of paper. Why this miraculous thing happened is because honey I love you spontaneously and as I stand horizontal to the wall and perpendicular to the ground I only think of you, since you are a fantastic and fabulous girl.
D arling please Stop haranguing with the feelings in my heart because I love you more than a snake loves rat. To me each day starts by thinking of you and ends by dreaming of you. Each time I see you my metabolism suddenly stops and my peristalsis goes in reverse gear.. My medular-oblangata also stops functioning.
Crazy crazy crazy you may say but this is true. If only you knew what is going on in my encephalon you would understand. That’s why I need to see you face to face with you, soon. I think I have to pen-off here because I still haven’t finished studying electrolysis and polymerization. Catch you later. Sleep tight and don’t let those bed bugs bite you coz you are too sweet a thing for them.
Love letters for him
My Love, My Sugar, I was exasperated with pride to have received one from you, the lungs in my body flapped with joy when I have been reading your letter. Anyway by now you have reached the realisations to why I am jotting this small letter to you, yes it is to see if you are keeping with the sands of time.
How is everything on that other side of yours? Well here everything is just half lemon half sugar to make it Schweppes. How is your schooling? How are you pulling the wagons of life? I am just pulling the schooling thing like a donkey pulling a cart..
My honie, I am missing you very much right now, my heart is perambulating with every word that I write, if it was not for these oceans that decided to flow between us then I would get on the next bus to come and see you, but until then I know that I will not hesitate to put this blue blood on this paper and write to you. I remember that day lovie, that one sweet day as Maria Carey sang it, you know that it is my favourite song honie. The one day that we were boarding the transport and you escorted me to my home, walking with you just brought sweet dreams to me for the rest of my life honie.
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If words of love could ride a bicycle I would be competing against mariah carey Anyways, I will not stop you from reading the books that give you life and education so I will stop here for today.
Please always be writing to me because I am missing you like sugar misses tea.
Keep well my mop of my heart, Yours in flesh and in blood.
My Dear SweetHeart … Love letter in maths
My Dear SweetHeart,
Yesterday, I was passing by your rectangular house in trigonometric lane.There I saw you with our cute circular face, conical nose and spherical eyes, standing in your triangular garden.
Before seeing you my heart was a null set, but when a vector of magnitude (likeness) from your eyes at a deviation of theta radians made a tangent to my heart, it differentiated.
My love for you is a quadratic equation with real roots, which only you can solve by making good binary relation with me.
The cosine of my love for you extends to infinity. I promise that I should not resolve you into partial functions but if I do so, you can integrate me by applying the limits from zero to infinity. You are as essential to me as an element to a set.
The geometry of my life revolves around your acute personality. My love, if you do not meet me at parabola restaurant on date 10 at sunset, when the sun is making an angle of 160 degrees, my heart would be like a solved polynomial of degree 10.
With love from your higher order derivatives of maxima and minima, of an unknown function.
A love letter by a ‘businessman’ to his girlfriend.
Kimani a graduate of Accounting, wrote a letter to his girl friend …..
Love letter from an Accountant
In the Journal of my heart,
I have written a Journal Entry,
Debiting my love & crediting my affection,
Now partners, I write this Narration.
Your beauty is the Capital of our
And your eyes are Stock In Trade,
Now let us enter into a Transaction,
Without providing Depreciation.
Your first love I have already indicated
On the Ledger Folio column,
Any way, our relations are based on
Double Entry System.
Our love is Real & Tangible proposals,
Which can be realized,
Interest on the same,
Can be capitalized.
Partner, you are like a Contra Entry,
You are on my Debit Side & Credit Side,
Both at the same time,
And so my partner now, let us Rectify,
All our errors & total the Trial Balance,
Of our affairs & emotions,
Without maintaining any Suspense Account.
And any difference in the Trial Balance,
And In the Balance Sheet of our life.
Our children will be Assets & Liabilities,
If they are boys, shall we call them Sundry Debtors?
If they are girls, shall we call them Sundry Creditors?
But if we have a boy & a girl,
Our Balance Sheet will Tally automatically,
A Balance Sheet
And the Auditor will certify thus,
“THE ACCOUNT SHOWS A TRUE & FAIR VIEW OF LOVELY BUSINESS CONDUCTED DURING Billy and his Girlfriend’s life Account
Your dying Accountant in love,